Birthday Blues

It's my birthday tomorrow and I'm feeling decidedly sad about it. I'm not sure I can deal with the disappointment of it all. For this reason it will be my last birthday. I no longer want the recognition or the lame gifts and cards. It is all a big pain in the ass and I always end up feeling either completely let down or just plain forgotten.

From now on the date is to go from the calendar and anyone who disrespects this request will not be met with appreciation.

This year it appears that my present is a surprise visit from my Mum (in a couple of weeks) just what I need two weeks before Christmas. My husband organised it and my Mum managed to spoil the surprise today by telling me that Brent had neglected to send her her electronic ticket for her trip down next month.  Well he's sent it now - I'm less than impressed and he knows it.

It doesn't seem that he is capable of getting me a gift that I can enjoy for myself, this year I got him a massage and facial voucher. Even though his birthday was 7 months ago it has managed to take until THIS week for him to use the voucher.

To top it off, I mentioned that my Mum was putting some money into my bank account for me to get myself something I wanted for my birthday and Brent told me I should use it to pay the visa account!

These are all good reasons for me to cancel my birthday from now.

I'm really not sure that Brent even likes me at all.  I would feel much better if I just didn't have to deal with it again.

Summer time and the living is...

It would be nice if it were easy. In some respects it is easy, in others it is much harder. It is harder with Christmas just around the corner, it is harder with having extended family staying and it is harder to keep the finances under control. The reality of making a long term commitment is starting to sink in and the sacrifices that it comes with. I'm trying to have an attitude of gratitude and appreciate all I have,  but I have always had trouble sharing and I'm not sure if I am happy with the compromises I have to make but I'm in it for the long haul now and there is nothing I can do but grab onto something and try not to fall off the ride

New Enthusiasm

I've had a small burst of enthusiasm - the first actually since our extended family arrived to live with us. I think we have been adjusting to each other and trying to find a compromise in some areas has been a challenge.  I am no longer working - I found the juggle of work and family life too much and I just decided that the gain (financial or otherwise) was not worth the struggle.  So I will need to look at options for the future in the new year.